Mirror

Reflection.

In introspective fervor,

I stare into my shining mirror,

Deeper and further,

A stunning reverse of reality’s urn,

Each moment shown has passed,

The past has turned to memory,

a statue lies behind that glass,

Stands for who I used to be—

Fueling curiosity, my naive mentality, for

I know it’s characteristic of silver coating,

The misfit scholar, I halt my growing,

Knowing I should focus on my class, yet

this sliver of something I cannot grasp

With my minds facilities has me entranced

As I won’t relax with simple answers,

Taxing my mind and body, spurned.

I see a change on the opposite side

Or mine, or maybe I have died

And passed on into different space

Like transient states stay taking place,

One after the other.

What is to be,

Or does it mean more to not

Exist,

To fade, first in body,

Remembered as rot—

Or ichor, the blood of gods,

The energetic flow of our waning youth

Confuses me further as to the truth.

I look to the mirror to see things clearer

But find my reality more obscure

As some don’t wonder why we got here,

How we did it, or why we’re demure

At advancement, after all this effort

I’m dissatisfied with my self worth.

Spending hours in mental hell

Wondering exactly what I deserve

Heaven, death, or nothing at all,

The broken perception of time,

Burning the fields of tired minds

deranged in mirth, back to ashes,

I learn my lesson, but back to my first question.

From nothingness to nothingness

We were blessed with a glimpse into
The glistening future, a flickering buzz
Of momentary energy separates us,
From my physical form to

The reflection of something that never was.
Is it truly me, 
Or is this guess a logical exception?

Seeking serious calls for existential attention

Has me more amused than essential expression,

Or thoroughly invested in my descension

To madness,

A blessèd magic,

Courting depression.