Mourning and Mornings

The mourning dove, which also confusingly is known for singing it’s sad calls in the morning, brings me back to my childhood. Every morning I would wake up to that longing coo that sounded so lonely and empty to me.⁣

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In a way, the morning is a funeral for yesterday’s mistakes. And yet as any proper funeral it is also a celebration of life, a spark of hope for the future. Only recently have I had the strength to consistently look forward instead of backward. ⁣

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My life is constantly back and forth between persistent pessimism and hopeful resolve. Since the dove represents lightness and peace but mourning involves death and emptiness, I figured the mourning dove was a proper metaphor for the duality of morning. Of waking up wondering why we keep on fighting, but still getting up and fighting regardless. A symbol for documenting my transformation in how I view uncertainty and the future.⁣

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Peace is more than an acceptance of the ups and downs in life. It is about seeing the hope in having endless second chances. Mornings spent mourning mistakes of the past in a cloud of depression can be mornings where we wake up and plan to make a difference in the world. Mornings that we can decide to make one person smile become hopeful days that we finally see the ripples of goodness we started. ⁣

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Maybe this is what it feels like to truly accept adulthood.⁣

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Uncertainty

What awaits me then?

Tomorrow,

When the mourning dove sings,

Brings the death of yesterday

To where it is redeemed:

In the lightness, 

In the endless possibility 

Of someday—

Uncertainty is crushing.

At times it fills my soul with pain,

But there are worse things in the world

Than knowing

Maybe

I’ll be okay.